Guys. I have poked around the real estate Internet and have seen things that can’t be unseen, all in a bid to bring you the best Wednesday WTF that ever WTF’d.
But this week, the WTF came to us, after a reader passed along this doozy in Dallas — Kessler Park, to be exact.
In fact, one anonymous Dallas gay A-lister said, “It’s proof that not all gays have good taste.”
I believe my first reaction was, “I don’t think I’ve seen POLaRT in the wild before.”
But once we saw all the tributes to Cher, the conversation went predictably one direction — Cher puns.
Brace yourself, and gird your black dental floss jumpsuited loins, friends — we have a lot of them. Puns, that is. I only have one black dental floss jumpsuit.
Majority Cher holder. Cher and Cher alike. Cherlock Holmes found this house for you. Pull up a Cher while I tell you about this house. Chering is caring. Cherish this post.
Oh, you think we’re done. No. Do you believe in life after this bedroom? If I could turn back time I might not paint the entire bedroom purple.
But there are more theme rooms. Like this one, that I like to call the QE2MUCH. It’s designed to make sure you never bump uglies in this room, lest Queen Elizabeth judge you from that wall over there.
There are, of course, normal rooms. Like this kitchen.
The bathrooms are also surprisingly normal. Well, most of the bathrooms. Jo and I got into a debate over this picture in this bathroom.
“I cannot tell who that is hanging in on the wall of the guest bath. Is it Tiffany?” my editor asked.
“I think it’s another Cher,” I said. “Judging from the autograph, which is a shame because I had an ‘I think we’re alone now’ primed and ready.”
“IDK. The bangs aren’t very Cher-able,” Jo replied.
We’re taking votes in the comments, by the way.
I’d love to tell you what this home looks like on the outside, but curiously there are no pictures of the front of it. The Google street view was wholly unhelpful, too.
Anyway, this house is $599,900. No word on if you get to keep the life-sized Cher in the corner of that bedroom, but you should totally ask (and of course, report back to us).
And if you have another candidate for Wednesday WTF for us, don’t forget to Cher it via email.